So, this actually struck a cord with me, pretty strongly. I have never considered myself to be a "Marine Wife" first. I am one, because I am married to a Marine, but it doesn't define me. I don't even really consider it a title. It's more of a lifestyle. I can't speak for anyone but myself here, not even my dear friend over at A Cup of T, and I do realize that some things I may say could be offensive to others, but just remember I speak for myself and my life only- not for yours, or anyone else. We are all individuals and free to do and say as we please, correct? CORRECT! Ok, so let's get moving with this.
So, everything else just comes second eh? I wonder where this statement came from, or what type of woman originally said it. It just couldn't be more incorrect. Those of you who may subscribe to this type of thinking- you have made a choice. People who believe this statement to be true, are choosing it to be true for their own life. If that's the case, and you are satisfied with this way of life; great! No problem and more power to you. That's what works for you, and there's nothing wrong with that.
Me? I'm not happy with this. I am a modern day woman, I don't let any man or any man's job dictate who or what I am or where I live. If I go with my husband, I go willingly- I go because I want to go and I want to be with him. Up until this point, I have never had a circumstance come up where my husband and I have decided that it be better that I stay behind, with the exception of deployments of course, and then that genuinely was not up to either of us.
Recently, mostly, we have been talking about me re-entering the work force. Nursing school has taken over our lives, and I think my husband is more of a "Student Nurse Husband" than I would be a Marine Wife. So, HA! Anyway, we've spoken about me temporarily moving far away to get some experience. The job market climate for new grad RNs is dismal in this county- and if we need to live apart for a year, eh, so we do it. It's not a deployment, we can visit. We will still see each other. See, that's the great part about my husband and I; we love being together, but we can still rationally decide when being apart would also be beneficial.
We've also talked about him taking a geo-bachelor assignment should it come up, since we do own the house here. Hey, what's in our best interests? We don't have kids- we have freedom right now. Might as well do what is best for the both of us, namely- my career. I need to get my nursing experience in there somewhere- and when I get a job, that's it. I'm sticking with it for at least a year. If my husband has to move, then he has to move and I will wait here or follow later. But, I have to do what I have to do & right now that is putting some roots down in the nursing profession.
So, NO- I am NOT a Marine Wife first. I am myself first, I am my husband's wife, and I will not let the Marines dictate how I live my life. If that makes me a bad wife to anyone, well then- good thing I'm not your wife, right? Last time I checked, I had as close to perfect of a marriage as one can get. So I must be doing something right.














when i finished grad school and was getting married i had no clue where i would be or what job i would land. since im in 29, jobs are as scarce as....jobs are just scarce. friends, those who haven't experienced the military lifestyle, have suggested me getting a job in NY or DC, (that's where my job field would be at mainly) but honestly i couldn't do it. before i married my husband we were engaged for 2 years and doing the long distance relationship and, im not going to lie, it killed me. so for me that really wouldn't be an option. but like i said, for me.
ReplyDeletejust because you and your husband decide to live apart so that you can jumpstart your RN career doesn't mean you guys don't love each other or don't want to married, it means that you want to start your RN career. plain and simple.
I admire you for taking such a huge decision! YOU ROCK!
ps. i am writing a post about career choices...great minds think alike :)
Yes- I couldn't agree with you more. It IS a decision that whatever you decide, or anyone decides is something that needs to work for them and their marriage. Everyone is unique, as are their relationships. I know it sounds so cliche but it's true that what works for one, doesn't work for everyone. We all find our own place in this life in our own way. :)
ReplyDeleteGREAT post. I see this kind of attitude a lot and I completely disagree with it. First of all, I don't like when people present themselves as "blabla's wife" or *blabla's mom" or similar. Then I think "ok, but who are YOU?" Aren't you as a person important?? I'm glad to see you bring up the topic (I have a feeling you've done that in the past as well). And even if you weren't a nursing student you still wouldn't be an army wife in the first place, you would be SARAH and important as being YOU.
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